Pearl Wee
Preface
Year 1947 was a turbulent year for many. Although signs of recovery were clearer towards the end of the year, many were still plagued with post-war anxieties and problems. Food shortage, coupled with health issues like Tuberculosis led to many deaths occurring. Although the entertainment provided for people helped to alleviate some of their worries, it also contributed to other problems like gambling.
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Who am I? I’m not too sure where to start. The master never gave me a name, and neither did the other guys ever refer me to any names. We were just all the same, doing the same work and report only to the master. The only difference is the other guys were all in other parts of the world, and I’m here, in Singapore. Our job is quite simple; we travel around the place carrying souls to the master. No, we do not kill them. We don’t go around in a dark cloak and a scythe scaring people. Human beings aren’t even supposed to see us! And no, we don’t have wings either. Human beings are such strange creatures; they would give us strange names that make us so unlikeable and unapproachable, like “Grim Reaper”… or “angel of Death”. Well, if I were to choose, I’ll go with just Death. Yes, I’m Death.
You know, the other deaths in other countries often envy my work here. They would lament the easy task I had, while they worked tirelessly almost every hour of the day. It was as though humans in other parts of the world loved seeking death so easily. I wouldn’t argue much with them, because, well, that much of what they said is true.
It’s rather peaceful here, with only a few souls to collect on a normal day. Most of the time, I get a couple of free time in between which makes my work rather relaxing. Since no one could see me, I have the liberty to hover around these human and observe how they lived each day. So full of vigor and… life. Yet the time will come when every single one of them will face me, and by then, I mostly only see them so sickly and drained.
It was worse during the war. People seemed to notice me more when I came to collect souls around them. Those lifeless eyes I saw staring into nothingness unnerved me for a moment, but I guess that’s what war does to you. I’d agree with them though, I never really liked wartime work. I had a harder time, since there were more souls to collect each day. Furthermore, the souls I had to carry back to the master were much heavier, each filled with so much regret and despair.
Now, after the war, my work has started to ease a little. The souls I collected weren’t as heavier, but they were more delicate and fragile. Since there wasn’t much fighting or killing, I regained some occasional pockets of free time. During these times I got a better glimpse of their lives. People worked hard throughout the day, ladies cooked meals after meals with the little food they had, some smoked to idle time away, others scampered for food and sometimes workers went in huge numbers to protest against the government. I thought they had forgotten about me again, but I guess I was wrong. I was never one to be moved by any human being’s lives. But Xiu Juan’s life was different.
And this is the story of when I first met her.
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It began that day when I first saw her at the hospital I was working at. What was the name again? Ah yes, Tan Tock Seng Hospital. It was known at that time for the treatment of Tuberculosis. It was a disease many humans feared, and it has delivered many souls into my arms, not that I’m particularly thankful about. Since the disease was spreading like wild fire, many came to the hospital seeking treatment and patients had to be quarantined. A scene in the hospital can be bustling with variant activities that one could get lost in it. On the one side families were queuing for their turn at the reception desk, seeking answers for their enquiries. Doctors and nurses never walked, they scurried. Sometimes they held handful of patient boards, other times they were hounded by families with questions. On the other side, the wards were filled with groans and coughing. Lots of coughing. Tuberculosis can’t affect me, but the patients’ painful coughing made me cough involuntarily too. I couldn’t feel their pain, but their eyes said it all. It was a terrible disease. Although they have plenty of posters of vaccination and new drugs like Streptomycin[1] pinned up on the hospital bulletin boards, I guess they’re useless to these patients who were already dying from it.
That morning I had already delivered two souls who lost their life to tuberculosis. Their souls weighed little, so frail I feared they would dissolve in my arms. After confirming names of the next few souls I had to collect – one more in the hospital, two later in the evening, and one last person at night in a house not far from the hospital – I paused by the reception desk and that was when I saw her.
At first glance, she looked thin and small against the rest of the adults in the hospital. You don’t usually see children on their own, especially not in a hospital. Her shirt seemed a little too oversized for her, and perhaps a little too worn out. When was the last time she got new clothing? Although it seemed as though it was days since she last had a shower, the scrub marks on her arms and a dirt-less face suggested that she made some effort to look presentable. I couldn’t help but smile a little at her earnest attempt. More importantly, it was her determined look that stood out. While most people seemed lost in the hospital, it wasn’t like that with her. Instead, she bee-lined straight to the reception desk, as though she was on a mission and was bent on accomplishing it.
“I need medicine. Where can I get it?”
The lady at the reception desk was surprised. “Hi there, sweetie. What medicine are you looking for? Is anyone else with you?”
“The disease.”
“Oh,” the reception lady replied, “Is your parents around? You’ll need to stay in the hospital for treatment. We don’t just issue medicine like that.”
The girl bit her lip and pressed, “It’s not me. It’s my brother. He can’t come here, so I need to bring medicine to him.”
The lady was obviously at a loss. “What about your parents?”
“… They’re working.”
The reception lady deliberated for a moment, “Sweetheart… I’m really sorry. I can’t give you medicine. Maybe you could bring your parents the next time with your brother? We could help you more then.”
The girl looked away and frowned before returning back to the reception lady and asked, “So you can’t help me?”
The lady could only smile apologetically at her.
I looked at her to see what she would do. If the girl felt any distress, she certainly didn’t show it. She only thanked the lady formally and walked away.
Intrigued, I started after her. But my watch started to ring, and duty called. Regrettably, I headed up to the ward and waited for the patient to breathe his last breath. I’d have taken a better look at the soul if my mind wasn’t elsewhere that day. That girl occupied my mind, and I wondered where she went. Slowly I extracted his soul from his body. He didn’t put up a fight, and willingly allowed me to carry him away. Just as I turned towards to the door, I got a surprise. The girl stood at the doorway, staring straight at me.
It would seem that she was wandering around the hospital, maybe looking for another nurse who could help her. I don’t really know. But I did know that she was staring at me, as though she knew I was there somehow and had just took the man’s life away. Her eyes locked on mine with fierce intensity, as though I was the one who snuffed out the man’s life. She eyes strayed to the man briefly, before returning to me with a renewed spark of resolution. She was challenging me, but of what I couldn’t tell.
A cry from a nurse broke our moment, and she ran away. I was genuinely surprised and baffled. All the while delivering the soul I thought about how she stared so intently at me, and what I did to provoke her so much. She aroused my curiosity so much I hoped I had another chance to learn more about her.
The chance came sooner than I expected.
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Xiu Juan was on her toes. She simply could not keep still. After that episode in the hospital, she was all the more determined to get what she needed for her brother.
Startled that it was nearly noon, Xiu Juan sprinted out of the hospital. She ran pass the corner of the hospital building and through small alley entered into the main road. Dirt-filled roads piled with rickshaw pullers huffing as they transported passengers along the street. Motorcars would speed pass them, leaving behind a trail of soot and annoyed faces. The stench of waste and sweat filled the streets, and as Xiu Juan raced down the lane she tried in vain to ignore it. All around, people plied their trade, setting up small stalls in front of the shop houses calling out for customers. Most of the male stall owners wore singlets, but even then they hung a towel around their neck to wipe off the perspiration they accumulate during the day.
No one paid much attention to her, and she had to slow down to allow a car to move along. Xiu Juan ran towards to the end of the road and turned left into a wider clearing. Away from the crowded streets, the clearing looked a lot greener and pleasant. In the middle of the clearing was a tentage, where several ladies was cooking and a line started to form with children eager to receive food. There was light chatter as some ladies warmly took care of the children waiting. Xiu Juan smiled. Wiping the perspiration off her forehead, she joined the queue.
As she looked around, she felt immensely grateful to these ladies. Without them, her brother and her couldn’t have survived on the little food her father brought home each day. It was a miserable amount of food and Xiu Juan knew why. She had long given up the hope that her father would care for them. So when she heard news about the child feeding centre set up near her home, she was delighted and brought her little brother along. Up until a few weeks ago, that is.
Upon receiving the bowl of rice with a piece of fish and vegetable, Xiu Juan said her thanks and sat down on a table and devoured the food in an instant.
“Wow, Xiu Juan. You must be hungry.”
Xiu Juan looked up and saw a familiar beautiful face smiling at her. Ms. Jane sat down beside her and patted her head. “Still, you should eat slowly. Your stomach needs to digest the food slowly.”
“No time” Xiu Juan nearly choked on the fish. “Need to hurry.”
Ms. Jane looked surprised, but as her eyes wandered and found that Xiu Juan’s brother didn’t come, she smiled knowingly. “I’ll prepare some food for you to bring home to your brother.” Xiu Juan gave a grateful look, nodding her thanks as she swallowed the last mouth of rice. Ms. Jane got up and went away. After a few minutes she came back with a package in her hand. She handed it to Xiu Juan with her usual caring smile, “Make sure he gets better alright? We missed him.”
“I will.”
Ms. Jane beamed, “And I was discussing it with the ladies just now. Next week, we are intending to bring you all to the New World Entertainment Park. Bring your brother along then alright?”
Xiu Juan froze. Looking away she mumbled with disgust, “I hate that place.”
Surprised, Ms. Jane started to ask her why. But Xiu Juan cut her off, thanking her quickly, briefly hugged Ms. Jane before setting off unto the path again.
Ms. Jane stood there, and watched the back of the little girl running away, puzzled over what made her abhor the place so much.
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It was close to evening time when I saw her for the second time. I was making my way to the New World Amusement Park this time when I found her pacing up and down in front of the park’s entrance, turning to look at anyone who came out of the park. As I floated towards her I was a little disappointed when she didn’t notice me. Clearly the memory at the hospital did not have the same effect on her as it did on me.
Just then, she ran pass me towards a man who just came out of the park. He looked old enough to be her father, and I was right for she called him “Papa”. He didn’t look like the part though. Rather, seeing that he came out of the park looking so disoriented, along with his overall sloppy demeanor suggest he was a player or a gambler. There were only two things one could be when they leave the park looking like that. My guess was the latter, since he seemed more tensed when the girl pressed him for money.
Soon their conversation soon turned into a heated quarrel with the girl shouting at her father.
“You could have given us the money to buy medicine for Ming! Instead of wasting them away here!”
“Look! Xiu Juan! I don’t expect you to understand this. But this is fastest way to make money for us all!”
“Ming’s needs the money now!! He didn’t even touch the food I brought him from the feeding centre! Do you even care?!” the girl, or Xiu Juan as I learnt, demanded.
“I do! And I’m trying to earn the money as fast as I can!” Her father tried to appease her. “Xiu Juan, go home, okay? I’ll come home later. I’ll just go make more money for us.”
Xiu Juan looked at her father in disbelief. “No…” she said bitterly, “You don’t care at all.” With that, she ran away from the park, leaving her father at a loss of what to do.
Dejected, the father pulled out a few dollar notes from his pocket as he turned and stared at the New World signboard. Soon, as the night fell, the signboard lit up. Behind it, the park seemed to come alive with the neon lights shining brightly. The night burst to life as gradually more people entered the park for its entertainments. I followed Xiu Juan’s father for a while as he walked around the park. Passing the children play rides and stall games, he stopped in front of a theater. Although he was surrounded by excited children with their families, he regarded them gravely.
Was he thinking about bringing his daughter and son to the park? I wasn’t sure. Again he looked at the crumpled notes in his hands and was in deep thought. Just when I was wondering what he was thinking about, he took a deep breath and walked towards the theater. I followed him, intrigued. He’s going to watch a movie?
As soon as he entered the theater, he turned away from the main entrance and walked down another corridor. Sensing something was up I continued to follow him. Turning at a corner and through a door, I saw what his goal was.
I shook my head, and thought about Xiu Juan. She would be so disappointed if she knew her father’s addiction to gambling didn’t ceased after their quarrel.
My watch started to ring again, signaling my time to leave him. Before heading out, I regarded him again. The Worlds might have been enchanting many, yet it was also a façade for many unfortunate souls who gave their life up to addiction.
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Xiu Juan sat by the drain outside the shop house she lived in for the longest time. As she hugged her knees, tears started to trickle down her face. The night never seemed so forlorn as today. The streets were quieter now, with most of the folks chattering away in the cramped shop houses they had to share with several other families. So no one heard the soft whimper that escaped her lips as she cried harder.
Sniffing away the tears, Xiu Juan looked up at the moonlit night sky. Clouds swayed as the wind blew, but no stars could be seen. The moon was soon veiled by clouds, giving it a blurry white hue. She thought about Ming. In the afternoon when she delivered the package to him, he could barely eat two mouth of the rice before collapsing on the bed again. He looked so much weaker than before that Xiu Juan feared the worst was happening. She closed her eyes and wished with all her might Ming would make it through. Then she got up, wiped her tear-stained face and made her way into the shophouse.
It was small and cluttered inside. Oil lamps at the side lit up the parlor on the first floor, but it was still quite dark to make out the furniture and mess on the floor. Skillfully, she skipped around the mess on the floor, avoiding the pile of newspapers and various pots stacked haphazardly across the floor. She climbed up the wooden stairs at the corner, trying hard not to make any noise. Her neighbors should be sleeping by now, and she didn’t want to wake them up. Creeping across the floor she made her way to one of the doors at the end of the corridor. Opening it ever so slightly, she saw that it was pitch black.
Using the light from the corridor, Xiu Juan rummaged the table beside the door and found the lamp. She lit it up and placed it on the table. Once her eyes adjusted to the light of the lamp, she looked around the room. There was a double-decker bed on the right corner of the room from where she entered, with a mosquito net hanging from the top. Soft snores could be heard from within. The window adjacent to the bed was closed and veiled by curtains that moved ever so slightly to a breeze blowing past.
Xiu Juan put on a mask that she pulled out from the drawer underneath the table and headed to the window. She opened it and allowed the air to stream into the room. Next she turned to the bed and pried open the mosquito net, discovering that her little brother is sound asleep.
“Ming…” She nudged her brother slightly. “Ming… Wake up.”
Her brother stirred in his sleep and drowsily opened his eyes. Xiu Juan smiled at him. As she sat him up, he immediately went into a coughing fit and XiuJuan patted his back.
“Water… “, Ming croaked as he heaved.
Xiu Juan quickly brought him a cup of water, sat beside him and lifted the cup to his lips. He drank it heartily and she was relieved.
He looked terrible, Xiu Juan decided. But at least he was awake.
“Are you feeling better? You didn’t eat much just now.”
Slowly, Ming turned his head to face his sister. His dull eyes searched in the dim light his sister’s face and smiled briefly. His right hand twitched and he tried to lift it up. Xiu Juan noticed and clasped his hand tightly, feeling the chill of his hands.
“Why is your hands so cold? It’s alright, I’m here now.” Xiu Juan comforted him, rubbing her hands on his in an act to pass her warmth to him.
“Sis…” Ming croaked softly, as though it required a lot from him just to speak.
“Yes?”
“I… feel…” Ming’s voice grew softer and softer, “terrible.”
Xiu Juan responded in earnest, “It’s alright! It’ll pass. Tomorrow I’ll go back to the hospital and ask them for medicine. You’ll be fine!”
Ming closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. “No… I don’t… think…” He could barely speak now, “I can… make… it.”
Xiu Juan chided him, “Nonsense! You’ll be fine! I promised, didn’t I? I’ll get you better, don’t worry about it. Ms. Jane even wanted to bring us to the New World Amusement Park next week. You’ll love it. Didn’t you tell me before you wanted to ride the carousel? So we’ll definitely get you better.”
Ming started again, “Sis…” but before he could speak further, his coughing fit resumed. Xiu Juan worriedly held her bother, helpless. She brought a towel for him to cover his mouth as he coughed.
Soon it became worse and Ming clutched his chest even tighter. He coughed so bad he had to bend forward, using the towel to muffled the sound.
“Don’t scare me, Ming. What’s wrong?” Xiu Juan patted his back more urgently and took the towel. To her horror, the towel turned red.
Ming was coughing out blood.
Alarmed, Xiu Juan cried out, “Ming! Oh god… Ming!” She quickly grabbed another towel to wipe away the blood dripping down his mouth and tried to sooth his chest.
“Sis…” Ming reached out his hand for his sister.
Clutching his hand tightly, Xiu Juan laid him down onto the bed. Even then, blood continued to trickle from his mouth. Tears started to swell in her eyes as she looked helplessly at her beloved brother. “Ming…”
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I watched as the scene in front of me enfolded.
At first I didn’t recognize the two shadows in the dimly lit room. I was only going about the usual routine, observing and looking around finding snippets of the soul’s life. There wasn’t a photo or ornament anywhere to be found, though I managed to see crumpled pile of papers filled with drawings and sketches. I wondered if they were literate. There wasn’t much else in the room, nothing that signaled they had anything more than themselves. So I focused my attention on the two figures instead. It was then that I actually recognized her.
I didn’t think Xiu Juan felt my presence yet, if not I would think she will try all ways and means to get rid of me. Drag me out, perhaps.
Yet I didn’t think the last soul I had to collect would be from in this room, where she lived, and that the soul would be her brother.
In an instant, I realized what the challenge was. It isn’t my decision to make, I wanted to say, but I doubted she was able to hear. Even if she could, I didn’t think she would want to hear.
The blood Ming coughed out didn’t cease, and Xiu Juan panicked. I looked at my watch and saw it was nearly time.
She was clutching his hand with both of hers, tears streaming down her cheeks. As I moved closer, I could hear her whispering, “I promised you… Please get better…”
As much as I wanted to comfort her, I couldn’t. As he breathed his last, his closed his eyes and smiled. His relief from the painful torture was over. Though by my side, the girl’s grief had just begun. I lightly drew out his soul, and he warmly cuddled in my arms. I wondered if she knew that her brother’s suffering was over, maybe it’ll comfort her a little more.
Carrying him, I started out the door. I was about to leave when I stopped in my tracks.
“Don’t take him.”
I whirled around. But Xiu Juan was still holding onto her brother’s hand, eyes closed shut as though she was praying. “Don’t take him… please…”
Glancing at the peaceful soul I held in arms and back at her, I felt crushed. Still, there was nothing I could do.
I started to walk away again, but before I left, I glanced back at the weeping figure by the bed.
“I’m sorry.”
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The End.
(4079 words)
References:
Newspaper
The Straits Times, 1947
Oral History Interview
Bee, Soh Guan. Interviewed by Low Lay Leng, October 12, 1983. Reel No. 7, Accession No. 000310. Oral History Centre.
Photograph
Kwan, Wong. A Funeral Procession moving from Chin Chew Street to Upper Chin Chew Street. Photograph. c1948. From National Archives of Singapore. Website, http://www.nas.gov.sg/archivesonline/photographs/record-details/afbbac82-1161-11e3-83d5-0050568939ad (Accessed November 10, 2014)
Tricker, George. Singapore street scene at the junction of North Bridge Road and Hock Lam Street, looking down Hock Lam Street towards the Central Fire Station. Photograph. c1950s. From National Archives of Singapore. Website, http://www.nas.gov.sg/archivesonline/photographs/record-details/b31656ba-1162-11e3-83d5-0050568939ad (Accessed November 10, 2014)
Report
Report of the Housing Committee Singapore, 1947, Government Printing Office, 1948
Singapore Medical Department Annual Report (1947), “Feeding Children of Pre-school Age.”
W.J Vickers, M.R.C.S., L.R.C.P, D.P.H, D.T.M and H. Annual Report of the Medical Department: Colony of Singapore, 1947. Singapore: Government Printing Office, 1948.
Website
Tan Tock Seng Hospital. “TTSH Heritage.” Accessed November 10, 2014. http://www.ttsh.com.sg/TTSHeritage/
[1] The Singapore Free Press, 30 June 1947, pp. 3
1947: Singapore Imagined 